I Got 44 Problems But The Bitch Ain't One

It's been years since I last posted -- and hey! I'm still engaged! Who woulda thunk it?

Our engagement has gone on so long that we don't remember what it was like to be "dating," whatever that means, let alone single. We have no idea what marriage will be like, or when it will come, or whether it will really happen.

But last week we came back from vacation and realized that beyond the big chores -- the place to get married, the guy to marry us, the dress for the bride and the DJ for the Horah -- there were probably some other things we should think about doing. So we made list.

OK that's bullshit, as you know. Deborah made the list. I then took the list, fixed the spelling mistakes and got OCD all over the formatting. I also broke everything down into categories, including "Judaica" and "FIND FLORIST!", because that's how I do.

We finished with, I shit you not, NINE categories, for a total of 44 things to do before the big day. 44! Absurd. And we're supposed to be nearing the end of the process! I've never done anything that required 44 steps in my life, and my future wife can't even name 44 reasons why she likes me, let alone loves me.

That means we have to accomplish one task every three days to be ready for the wedding day, which is enough to keep me awake until the wedding, wondering about any things I might have missed, like....

#45) Call both sets of parents and explain that the title of this post is ripped-off from a Jay-Z song, and not a reflection of my opinion of my future wife.

"I Guess You'll Do"

Sometimes, there's something on the interwebs that makes you (me) realize that my (our) life is virtually indistinguishable from almost everyone else who lives in my building, goes to my yoga class and graduated from my high school. Last month, it was the site Stuff White People Like that made me realize this. And now, thanks to Nora, we have this little diddy about falling in love: