So I Just Tried To Plan Something For The Wedding

I haven't really done a lot of the wedding planning so far. Some would say that I've done none of the wedding planning so far. If some would say that, and some have, I really wouldn't have much to say in response.

I haven't met nor spoken to our caterer. I was there when the appointment was scheduled with the florist, but I never went to the meeting with her, and I don't know her name. I've never taken a tour of our wedding spot, I've never been in the hotels where we are reserving rooms and I haven't solved our rehearsal dinner blues.

The wife is a workhorse. Our four parents are totally on the ball. I am worthless.

So I tried. Two months ago I saw this DJ spinning at a bowling alley, and I was imbibed, so I asked him for his digits, and he refused to give them to me. I asked him if he had a MySpace page, and everyone knows that a DJ who says he doesn't have a MySpace page is a lying DJ, so he begrudgingly agreed to let me contact him there.

A month went by. I spent a week thinking of ways not to come across like a d-bag in my message to him. Then I wrote, asking if he would do our wedding.

The DJ waited three days to return my message, and then he let me down easy. "That's a bit too long for me to book," he said.

Who gets rejected by a wedding DJ? Who gets turned down after offering someone thousands of dollars? Who looks for a DJ at bowling alleys and on MySpace?