"I've gotta go home and hang out with my rib"

We hate the word "fiance." We also hate "fiancee." And we don't know which is which. The problem with deciding not to use the word "fiance," as the (fiance) and I have done, is people give you tons of shit if you call your fiance "girlfriend." Engaged guy from college who I ran into at a wedding a few months ago: “Oh man, do NOT let her know you don’t call her ‘fiance’! You call her ‘girlfriend’?!? Oh, man.”

I tried to tell him that she knew I didn't use "fiance," and that she agreed that it sounds odd and pretentious and French, but he thought I was lying. He could NOT believe that a woman wouldn't like "fiance"...Hanging out with people you haven't seen in 7 years is strange.

In any case, in search of a solution, I looked up the synonyms for "women". The highlights include "rib" (because clearly the first woman came from a male rib, and we should constantly remind them of this by using "rib" as a pet name for our ladies), and "pigeon" (because pigeons, a.k.a. rats with wings, are...adorable).

Synonyms: Mrs., babe, bird, bride, broad, chick, chicken, companion, dame, debutante, doll, gal, gentlewoman, girl, girlfriend, inamorata, kitten, lady, lass, love, lover, maid, maiden, mama, mate, matron, miss, mistress, moll, nymph, old lady, paramour, partner, pigeon, rib, she, skirt, spinster, spouse, squaw, sweetheart, tomato, tootsie, virgin, wife
Antonyms: man


Old Man Snap said...

Kitten is our new favorite.

Zachary said...

See I would go with Nymph - maybe that is why i am single

elpuga said...

Sweet Papoo?

North Hills Jester said...

Why not call your lady "My significant other" and leave a lot of folks wondering?

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