The Horah: Worth Waiting For

A few centuries ago some Romanian Jews rocked out to the "Let's Get This Party Started" jam of their generation -- the Horah. Since then, while the Sabbath and keeping Kosher and atoning for sins on Yom Kippur are traditions that Jewish Americans have let fall by the goyside, the traditional dance of the Jewish wedding has sustained in drunken, revelrous, uncoordinated fashion. Jews: Not so much with the having of the coordination, nor with the holding of the liquor.

The "Horah," loosely translated as "circle dance with hand-holding," is in reality a full-body experience that involves dancing, jumping, tossing the mother-in-law around in a folding chair and losing your cell phone under Aunt Sydelle. In other words, it is absolutely awesome, and I cannot think about anything else at this point.

Do I give a shit if there's veal at the wedding? Thank you for asking; no I do not. All I care about is that the DJ keeps the Horah music going until A) The dance has lasted longer than it did at the wedding for my friends Sarah and Steve, who set a American Horah record, and B) My best man’s pants split down the crack.

As of now, the Horah is the only thing I am looking forward to at the wedding. All of us, including the wife-to-be, hope my interests expand soon enough. But for now, I can't wait to get in that chair.


Old Man Snap said...

"...tossing the mother-in-law around in a folding chair and losing your cell phone under Aunt Sydelle...:

Did we mention this is our new fave blog?

Zachary said...

I really don't want to split my sweet seersucker pants.

Christina said...

My fiance and I are doing the Hora at our Jewish-Puerto Rican wedding next year. As an outsider, I'm pretty curious as to how this dance works, as I've never actually seen it in action. I'll most likely fall of the chair and bust my ass. That's what weddings are all about, right?

Anonymous said...

Veal doesn't want to be at the wedding either.

Anonymous said...

I had a hora injury in 97 that left me with six weeks of physical therapy. At my wedding I'll be dancing the hora.... alone.

Scott said...

I wonder if we can get ahold of some hora bloopers? For every 9 successful chair lifts, at least 1 has got to go down. ...Or that may just be my warped, liquored up imagination from the outer circle sidelines.

ACG said...

Matt - Can't hold their liquor?? What Jews are you hanging out with?? Just ask Doc, we've got the special drinking gene :-)

OMS - I am hurt... deeply deeply hurt. But that's ok... I'll just sit here alone in the dark corner of the net with my blog... WHOA, think I was channeling my grandmother there ;-)

Christina - just be sure they tip the chair back slightly so you don't pitch forward and that there is no cover on the chair so you can have a good grip on the sides of the chair. GOOD LUCK!

Aaron said...

Is this a dude website?


Jessica said...

that picture is hilarious

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