No One Cares What The Groom Wears, But...

The fancy-ass suit salesman at the fancy-ass suit store told me that no, that wasn't possible. The suit I was looking for was not available in his store, despite the 45,000 square feet of retail space and a clientele so well-heeled that there's valet effing parking for the customers.

Somehow Matt Katz (who has owned exactly four suits since the one I rocked for the Haftorah at my Bar Mitzvah) stumped the suit store salesman with the trademark slicked-back gray hair. I was apparently aware of a suit style that, gray hair said, "won't be found anywhere outside of Milan."

All I wanted to do was combine a little 21st century Eurotrash with some Beatlemania to create a simple, black, relatively fitted number with a narrow lapel and a skinny tie. "You won't find that in America in 2008, period," gray hair told Deborah and I.

And what about this Dolce & Gabbana advertisement that I'm sheepishly unfolding from my pocket? It was in last week's New York Times magazine, so surely it exists?

"Nah," he said. "They don't make those for real. That's just to get you interested in the brand."

Well if it's cool enough to get people interested, why wouldn't they just make it for real and put it on the racks?!?

Something was fishy.

So we left, dejected. And on the way home we stopped at Zara's, an upscale H&M-like place that is, literally, visible from our apartment. I tried on the first suit I saw. It was exactly what I was looking for, and it actually fit. NOTHING fits me without a tuck and a prayer. And it was affordable. Like, seriously affordable. We bought it.

The whole process took 15 minutes. Being a dude is awesome.

(In case you're superstitious about seeing the groom in his gown before the wedding day, I don't post pics. Check them out here at Tokoni.com, where I've been doing some writing lately).

Source: barmitzvahdisco.com


Jason Nark said...

I have a dream: one day I will get a custom-fitted suit. My wife says the suit I own makes me look worse than usual. It's for funerals and job interviews. Luckily, they don't happen too often.

designer-in-denial said...

30)HE looks damn fine in a skinny tie.
31) He lets me take ridiculous photos of him posing in his suit.
32) He makes this smiley face when he dances that makes him look like the happiest man in the world.
33) He bought me tulips yesterday randomly to say he loves me.
34) He supports me.
35) He protects me.
36) He lets me buy toys to decorate our grown up apartment.
37) He cleans the dishes after I make us a big meal.
38) He makes me music mixes and puts them secretly in my work bag.
39) Shmelvis loves him.
40) He feeds the fish.
41) He gets as excited for sushi and movie date nights as much as i do.
42) He wants to save the world one action and person at a time like me.
43) He is well read.
44) He is determined to finish the internet.
45) He makes amazing videos.

Oops, I went over 44, see babe, thats how easy it is to love you.

Love Debs

Gman said...

Ooh, from the neck down you look just like the famous Ringo, who sings and plays drums.

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