8/25/08

I Married A "Homemaker," and All I Got Was This Lousy Wedding Certificate

We awoke at the crack of dawn today and hauled ass to Room 413 of City Hall for one of the most important to-do items left on our list: Get a marriage certificate.

Weirdly, there's a three-day waiting period from when you buy ($80!) your certificate until when it actually takes effect. That's just two days less than the five-day gun-buying waiting period. Is getting married just two-fifth less dangerous than shooting a gun? Ponder that one.

Also on the weird front, the woman who issued our license was an intern. We know this, of course, because Deborah asked if they were hiring. Who interns at the wedding license place?

But here's the big-whopper weird thing: Deborah is listed as "homemaker" on the certificate. Poor thing has been working her ass off since the age of 13, gets unceremoniously dumped by The Man two weeks ago and all of a sudden everything's in black-and-white and it's 1955 up in here.

What if I was laid off? It definitely would not have said "homemaker." Would they have even given me a license at all, considering my failure to provide?

11 comments:

(bride.) said...

That sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. Boooooo.

Guilty Secret said...

They said she had to choose homemaker? She couldn't choose 'unemployed' or 'designer'? That's disgusting!

North Hills Mom said...

I don't understand why they would not let Deb write freelance graphic designer-
Not fair!!!!

kittynana said...

Uh.......what? Did they make her promise to have dinner on the table promptly at 5 every evening and to never let her man see her without her makeup, too?!!

5 DAYS, DUDE!!!!!!!!! Hope the 31st turns out to be as good for you as it has been for us. Just one piece of advice: when doing the bills, don't ever ask how many days there are in August. My husband hasn't lived that one down!!

AllieDale said...

maybe you can tell your kids mommy used to be a residential architect! get it?? haha

Marilyn said...

There has to be some mistake there. I hope one of you has time to protest and fix this official document after the wedding and honeymoon. What a travesty! Several generations from now, this may be all the information about you available to great-great grandchildren. Anyway, I am sure fixing the document would make a very interesting and unique story. Good luck this weekend!

North Hills Mom said...

I agree entirely with Marilyn. I am outraged. This has to be taken to a higher level.When you return from your honeymoon this needs to be highlighted wherever you think is appropriate: MS magazine, Hilary (now that she needs another cause),etc. This is the 21st century!!!!!!!

VelvetMinxx said...

Mine said homemaker too! I thought that was great insurance against some kind of messy D-I-V-O-R-C-E where I would actually be expected to "provide" for myself in the "future".

Sucka!

Jenna said...

All of your posts are funny. But this one, well it's really funny.

Bride2B said...

Hello there,I am here via my bridal blog crawl.

I love your question to ponder...at times some people are a little to quick to jump the gun (pardon the pun)when it comes to marriage.It is sad that your hardworking wife 2B would be listed as a homemaker simply because of being unemployed at the moment.If they were going to be that archaic you would think the would be a little more PC and call her a Domestic Engineer.

Silvia said...

haha i love your post title! May your wedding day turn out amazing!

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