Something Has Gone Terribly Wrong; Guess What It Is

Let's everyone play a game. With 23 days left 'til Showtime, one of these dreadful scenarios actually, really just happened. The other two are bullshit. See if you can figure it out:

Scenario #1: At the last wedding dress fitting, the tailor at the Macy's Bridal Shop spilled her vente caramel-mocha frappucino on the front of the wedding gown, forming a bizarre splotch-like figure that could not be removed, despite its subsequent shipment to Hong. Three weeks left, and we have no dress, people.

Scenario #2: There was a fire at the apartment complex behind our wedding venue that triggered an explosion in a kitchen, which then spread, leveling an entire half-city block and leaving our venue in rubble.

Scenario #3: Out of absolutely nowhere, the bride got laid off.

The Answer: Number Three.

Deborah's agency lost their largest client because the company discontinued the brand. Deborah worked on said client, so she -- along with about 15 others -- were let go at 4 pm on a Friday. It was a fucking blood bath, and she's going to be better of for it. I'm positive. We just don't know when that better-off is gonna be, exactly.

Oh, and they apologized for the timing of her dismissal, considering, well, our wedding. The bossman also told her it was the Democrats' fault, whatever that means.

So, if someone is in the market for the best graphic designer/art director in the greater Philadelphia area, we're accepting offers. Give my startlingly talented future wife a job. Or even a freelance gig. Or she'll walk your dog every afternoon for $5 a pop.

Better yet, check out her new business.

Also, if anyone understands unemployment benefits in Pennsylvania, we could use a tutorial. I don't think their web site is written in English.


Miss Pinot Noir said...

That sucks!! I swear weddings atract problems like this! Sounds like you are keeping a positive attitude on things - at least as much as possible. Good luck!

Meg said...

That blows. On the plus side, your NY Times wedding announcement can now read "until recently, the bride worked at XXX..." making you both sound LOADED.

I'm trying here...

And I'm sorry.

Sara said...

Less stress having to be at work and finish up wedding plans? Trying to think positively...Good luck!

Gman said...

Think lean, start lean. After the wedding brouhaha settles, make a budget to figure out the minimum she has to make to help you make your nut. Then go for it.

I went freelance nine years ago, after getting pooped on for 10 years at dailies and trade mags. When my fate was tied to one employer, not only was I expected to buy into whatever bizarre corporate cult existed at the time (like Gannett's "News 2000"), but my paycheck came from one place. Not good in the late 20th - early 21st century. One layoff taught me that.

Now I have 3 steady clients and a few one-offs. When one slacks, the others fill in the basics. The Missus also went 'lance four years ago. Our income has actually increased by 50-100% since we kicked The Man out of our lives.

Security in a "good job" is an illusion these days.

Guilty Secret said...


Well, all the more time for sorting wedding stuff, right? And I'm sure she'll pick something even better up afterwards.

Anonymous said...

My husband got laid off 2 weeks before our wedding but we've lasted 29 yrs (on the 31st!) so it does not spell doom!

Just remember- have a FREAKING blast at the wedding!!! Everything else will work out. And tell her to take this 'vacation' to enjoy the wedding preparations! -Amy

miss purple said...

Ack! This just happened to my friend too, only her wedding is 2 months away which blows because at that point, do you find another job right away and then ask for 2 weeks off for your wedding/honeymoon, or do you wait two MONTHS? I'd say your wifey is actually lucky - tell her to think of it like having 3 weeks off to do wedding stuff. I'm sure she will find a job in no time afterwards, especially with such an enthusiastic cheerleader for a husband. ;-)

zoliepup said...

I was sure it was going to be number 1...

Think of all the good time she can spend in wedding prep now! Oh and can't that mean a longer honeymoon too?

She'll get snapped up quickly, I bet!

sabasenders said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marilyn said...

I lost my job the month before our September 2 wedding and my husband lost his the month after. That was exactly 37 years ago and in hindsight, it was the best thing that ever happened to both of us. He went back to college, finished, and became a teacher. After three years of working at better jobs than the one I lost, I had a beautiful family and have worked for myself for 33 years, allowing me a better income and time to spend with my family. I heartily wish the same to you both!

Veronica said...

So sorry! I have nightmares about that very same thing... it's scary how job security if next to nothing these days. Good Luck!

Miss X said...

That sucks! I have been unemployed since March, but I couldn't be happier that I was let go. My problem is that I don't want a job anything like my previous one.

Unemployment benefits have been better than we thought (but I don't live in PA)...of course, they run out the week after our wedding. Then things will get a bit scary (assuming of course that I am sitll unemployed).

Melissa said...

i was told 3 days before my wedding that they would be letting me go....seeing how upset i got my office manager said "oh oh..we'll try and figure something out." we left for our honeymoon...we came back and i worked mon-thursday.. that friday (8-8-08) was my birthday so at 4 pm on 8-7-08 my manager said "happy birthday..now i have bad news...your getting laid off" ha...so they tried to ruin my wedding..and i wouldn't let them i went on like it didn't bother me because after all getting married was more important than a job... tell her to keep her head up...it'll work out i'm sure.. and.. go sign up for unemployment!!

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