9/9/07

BREAKING! The Gender Divide Closes! Women Can Now Pee Standing Up!

This is not a good month for the final remnant of masculinity, the Men's Room. First, a certain senator from Idaho (allegedly) ran his hand underneath the partition next to to his potty. (Note to the Larry Craig defense team: Try the "he was asking for more toilet paper" excuse).

Then, there's this. The British have finally proven that their empire has jumped the shark. They've developed the world's first "female urinal," or "She-Pee." The She-Pee, as you can see in this picture, doubles as the thing that cows eat from.

To help use the She-Pee, there is The Whiz, which is a funnel that allows women to pee standing up, according to the BCC. A third product, the Go Bag, is a pouch of crystals which turn liquid into a solid for easier disposal. But isn't the best part of peeing the fact that it's not a solid?

Some of my fondest memories as a male took place in the boys' room -- in a male-bonding, not Larry Craig way, of course: The long-distance peeing contests in 2nd grade in the bathroom of PS 221, the massive troughs that they used to have at Shea Stadium where hundreds of drunk men and their children would cross streams.

The last remaining difference between men and women is the fact that for men, public urination is a pleasurable, even festive experience, whereas for women it's generally annoying. These British innovations will erase any difference between the genders. What could be next?!? Next thing you know, men will start blogging about their weddings.

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