Worst Wife Ever?

New rule: From now on, if I find myself unappreciative of my wifetobe in any way, I will drop to my knees and thank everything that is holy that I am not married to Elana Elbogen.

Elana is the overly litigious bridezilla who this week sued her wedding florist for $400,000 because--oh, just wait for this....wait wait wait wait---her hydrangeas were green and "pastel pink" instead of green and "dark rust," like she ordered. This color clashed with the linens, favor boxes, wedding cake and decor, according to The New York Times. Shockingly, the couple lives and got married in New York, of all places.

The flowers, which at $27,000 is pretty much my annual salary, were "entirely inconsistent with the vision the plaintiffs had bargained for," according to the suit. The florist, Stamos Arakas, who for sympathy's-sake let's pretend looks like Gepetto, said Mother Nature and the lighting in the room controlled the look of the flowers.

We thank new favorite fan Randi for this tidbit, and for the idea for a new poll I'm posting on centerpieces. You know how it works: You vote, and we'll do it (maybe) at our wedding. Vote early and often at your left so it looks like we're popular. The centerpiece choices: Bobblehead dolls of the couple, bobblehead dolls of just the groom, big boxes of sour candies, giant Peeps, seasonal wildflowers, bowls of goldfish like you get at the carnival, sparklers, green and pastel pink hydrangeas, thick bushes of amazing green plants, Wandering Jews, herb gardens OR....ironic pictures of Elena Elbogen!

P.S. Photo reprinted from the Kelley Drye law firm web site. Elena please don't sue me.


Sarah said...


the hydrangeas were not right at my wedding either, they were supposed to be the only flower in the vase with lots and lots of hydrangea but the florist added LEAVES with them.... perhaps I should sue too??

Hide Rangers said...

Is there any way to sue people for their detrimental effect of society?

Jen A. Miller said...

I would have hated to be this woman's bridesmaids.

Oh, and I started a new blog bookaweekwithjen.blogspot.com

Sugar said...

I dunno - you pay $27K for your flowers, they ought to be right. I think this is just a slap suit to show him she means business about that 20% retroactive rotten flower discount.

Of course I had to have a janitor let me out of a closet at my wedding & I didn't sue.

Anonymous said...

i can understand that she wants her money's worth for her wedding flowers but what she's asking for in return and damages is just way too much. Oh, and I voted for sour patch candies, there's nothing better than entertaining guests with food on the table.

av said...

I don't even know what the flowers in my bouquet were. It's like, whatever, you're just gonna throw them at someone anyway, right?

(If they let you, try to get your hands on Deb's bouquet before she throws it and tell me if those things are not a lawsuit waiting to happen in and of themselves? I'm amazed more wedding guests don't suffer concussions.)

Glad you liked my voice mail post. You should make a voice post yourself; you left me some funny messages back in the day.

Old Man Snap said...

You're rigging the surveys again.

No way "Wandering Jews" doesn't win.

Zachary said...

the woman scorned by the florist hails from Matt Katz's hometown (albeit the place his parents moved after he left the house) of Roslyn, New York.

Maybe she is from the same gated community.

Zachary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Outraged said...

"Comment deleted"

what sort of third-rate crappy blog-police-state is this anyway.

tell us why you are deleting comments or i'm email drudge.

Zachary said...

my bad - i accidentally posted the same comment twice but matt still runs a police state on his blog.

Anonymous said...


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