12/21/07

Getting Paid To Go On A Honeymoon? Moi?

We just watched the documentary "Sicko" on the NetFlix, and there was a lot of universal health care this, and socialists are awesome that. Whatevs. This is what really blew me away: France, on top of the four weeks of paid vacation allotted to every worker, offers one-week additional vacation time to all newly married couples. A honeymoon, on the feds.

Of course, I'd love it if you, the American taxpayer, funded the humus we'll be overdosing on while lounging on the beaches of Greece in approximately 6,096 hours (we have an LCD screen with a honeymoon countdown ticker over our toilet). But, uh, really? Is that the job of the federal government?

Beyond the fact that singles and gays and non-married couples get totally screwed (or not) by this program, what about the fraud? I'd be on my 7th marriage if I could squeeze more vacation time by having a marriage document to show my boss.

Of course, I haven't even been able to verify that this is actually true. All the crusading anti-Moore folks are blogging in their parents' basements about the "Sicko" filmmaker being a lying, fat, anti-freedom, Clinton-hugging "sicko." They love using "sicko" to make fun of him. Get it? Hilarious!

They've got their American flags in a bunch over health care in Cuba and whatnot, but they're missing the point. They need to concern themselves with the heart of the matter: Vacation Time. There is no other issue more important in America today than a paid vacation. Whether your vaca-steeze is lying on the beach or cruising the Mediterranean or smoking reefer in the Sinai or sitting on your couch for days on end drinking Red Bull and playing XBox, let's be honest -- vacation time is the only thing that makes us truly happy.

I'm too lazy to call the French Embassy to check to see if the honeymoon thing is true. Plus, I feel like it's anti-American to call. If I talk to a French-speaking receptionist at a townhouse in Washington, the terrorists win.

Speaking of which, what kind of honeymoon vacation package do you think Al-Qaeda offers?

4 comments:

Sugar said...

I think you go spelunking.

Zach said...

thats a terrible picture matt - no offense. deb looks good though.

Matt Katz said...

Really? You don't like my spiked hair? I'm trying to bring back 1985 here and no one's giving me any support.

keith said...

I recall a long time ago you saying that she liked your non-spiked before. I think you must have been feeling like a rebel that day.

I recall that because when you wrote that I had just gone through the same debate with my girlfriend like the previous week.

I think perhaps girls like guys to not spike their hair to show they are taken perhaps?! Flat hair, means they are taken. Spiky, means look out ladys!

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